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May. 14th, 2016 01:58 pmI've been in the strange city for I don't know how many weeks. I don't want to know how many weeks just like I didn't want to know it had really been four years back home, just like I didn't want to remember Kenny G blasting out of my own bathroom and the sight of my wife fucking another man.
But I can't seem to forget that, now, so I guess that's that.
Nikki isn't here and she never will be because of the restraining order. I never had a shot with Nikki. They weren't her words. They were Tiffany's.
I'm trying hard not to be mad at her but sometimes I still want to punch her, sometimes I feel my knuckles curling into fists and I just want to scream at everyone around me.
I don't, though. I close my eyes and hum a single note and count to ten and even though I haven't been on my meds in I don't know how many weeks, I'm doing better than I was before I watched that tape and remembered the hospital and the hate and the restraining order and ––
Someone's staring at me.
"What are you looking at?"
But I can't seem to forget that, now, so I guess that's that.
Nikki isn't here and she never will be because of the restraining order. I never had a shot with Nikki. They weren't her words. They were Tiffany's.
I'm trying hard not to be mad at her but sometimes I still want to punch her, sometimes I feel my knuckles curling into fists and I just want to scream at everyone around me.
I don't, though. I close my eyes and hum a single note and count to ten and even though I haven't been on my meds in I don't know how many weeks, I'm doing better than I was before I watched that tape and remembered the hospital and the hate and the restraining order and ––
Someone's staring at me.
"What are you looking at?"
